chauvinistsushi:

contraception:

the goal is to love myself so much it offends other people

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sexhaver:

fairycave:

sexhaver:

nobody in college gives a shit ive seen peope walking to class in heavy snow in sweats and a tshirt and flip flops ive seen people wear studio headphones in lecture ive heard so many professors curse its really some next level shit and high school did not prepare me for it

I was not prepared for university particularly this one lecturer that would slip in a photograph of fisting into presentations to check we were paying attention

i

white people: this is SO spicy
me: it's water

meladoodle:

*awkwardly left alone with a baby* soooo….. do you… watch game of thrones?

drakesquad:

tuggywuggy:

drakesquad:

i’ll be like 40 w/no kids and people will say “aw i’m so sorry for you” and i’ll be like how was the fucking wiggles reunion tour asshole i went to italy last week for fun and didn’t have to hire a sitter

This is a very sad mentality. To think oneself more important than that of progeny is the sign of a failed human life.

so the wiggles concert wasn’t as good as you thought it would be huh

zeloserwilder:

zeloserwilder:

I’M SO MAD

MY MOM JUST SAT ME DOWN LIKE “I found a picture of you on the internet of you in class” AND SHE’S ALL SERIOUS AND SO I’M LIKE WELL SHOW ME THE FUCKING PICTURE OH MY GOD THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY PRIVACY I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

AND SHE PULLS UP THIS

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OKAY WHO LET THIS GET 200+ NOTES

australiansanta:

why do americans call them sweatshirts and sweatpants like it’s such an ugly set of words it’s like calling a hat a dandruff basket or a shoe a tetanus stopper

bonerfart:

idonotneedthisrightnow:

you are acute coffee pie

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

bonerfart:

idonotneedthisrightnow:

you are acute coffee pie

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

breadonly:

WHY DOES THIS WORK SO WELL

weetbixgod:

hotdadcalendar:

I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes

Babies have no concept of object permanence

bonerfart:

soaply:

*upper middle class fucker voice* But you have [one nice thing] so how are you poor 

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Zodiac Expression of Nerves
♈ Aries: Hyperactivity, headaches, impulsivity, recklessness, hostility, frustration, confrontation, restlessness, rapid speech, over thinking, displays of vulnerability and need for reassurance, inability to complete minor tasks
♉ Taurus: Reservation; they will dissociate into their own worlds and be untouchable, binge eating, compulsivity (cleaning, organizing, hand washing), silence; anxiety will come in waves for Taurus and be sustained for a long period, sore throat, 'blank' mindedness
♊ Gemini: Giggling, restlessness, rapid speech, talkativeness, tremors, hyperactivity, distractibility, racing thoughts, insomnia, inability to stay focused on and complete even minor tasks, loud and more talkative inner monologue, chest/lung discomfort
♋ Cancer: Teariness, catastrophized thinking, imagination worst case scenarios, inability to stop distressing thoughts and inner monologue, drifting off/inability to focus, food cravings, isolation but co-current feelings of neediness and reassurance, stomach cramps and nausea
♌ Leo: Frustration, hostility, catastrophizing (imagining and living worst case scenarios) martyrdom, impulsivity, binge eating/drinking, they tend to go out of their way to help and do things for other people/keep busy in service, back pain, somatic troubles
♍ Virgo: Digestive upset, restlessness, repetitive movements (hair twirling, counting) tremor, rapid thinking, withdrawal into isolated 'bubble', compulsive tasks (cleaning, organizing), need to keep busy and distracted may pace back and forth
♎ Libra: Unusual quietness, increased needs for re assurance, stomach upset, restlessness, distractibility, insomnia, negative inner monologue, catastrophized imagination, repetitive hand motions, inability to explain themselves or say they are unwell
♏ Scorpio: Increased need for control, hostility, violent frustration (wall kicking, throwing objects), irrationality, increased obsessiveness - they may spend hours and hours focused on one task almost manically, rejection of others though frustration they are not 'there', flashbacks
♐ Sagittarius: Increased vocal volume, higher impulsivity, hostility, hyperactivity - they are liable to go out running or try to repress it physically, substance use, rapid thoughts, recklessness, giggling, distractible, back pain
♑ Capricorn: Tension, overwhelming feelings of butterflies and nerves inside especially in their stomachs although they remain composed externally. Over thinking and inability to distract themselves from worst case scenario, hostility, isolation, tendency to take on more work shifts or responsibilities
♒ Aquarius: Talkativeness, rapid speech, over thinking, restlessness, insomnia, confusion; Aquarians will feel anxious or nervous yet have little insight into why they feel this way or what is causing it, their minds and emotional responses are not connected, back pain
♓ Pisces: Teariness, catastrophized thinking, inability to distract or change thought patterns, flashbacks, hysteria, chest discomfort, digestive upset/nausea, irrationality, distressing inner monologue, substance use, increased need for assurance